Seperation Issues

So Quinton decided to join a softball league. The first game is tonight. At first when he told me the games are Thursdays at 7,8 and 9. I was thinking it would be best for the 7 o'clock games. But today the game is a 9 and it actually couldn't have worked out better. He was here for dinner and to play with Brendan and help get him in the bath and put him down for the night. Now I curse the 7 and 8 o'clock games when they come.

I envy that he can get out. Not that I can't I know if I wanted to go somewhere Q would definitely not care at all, but I hate leaving Brendan. It's like I want to get away for a few hours, but then when I am away I'm rushing through everything to hurry up and get back to him. I don't know why. He's not going anywhere and will be here for the rest of my life so what's the deal? I need to shake it. I'm going to try this Saturday and run errands, maybe get a massage and let Q take Brendan to Gymboree alone and just have a day to myself. Sounds so nice in theory. But when I'm alone I miss them both so much. AHHH, stop the madness!! I'm such a baby!